Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
