if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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