If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
