I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
