Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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