I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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