Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize