the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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