Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
