at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
