So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just high enough for therapy.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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