3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Randomize
