ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
