he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
