I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
