Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
