Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
never play flip cup with pint glasses
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize