I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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