He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
