She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
