I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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