i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
