you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you are never too drunk for berry picking
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize