i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
