hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
my poor anus
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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