Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
