wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
