Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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