see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
