I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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