I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
