My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
