I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
