It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
