All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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