So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
