how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
