Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
