We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My life is pants optional.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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