I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
