i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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