i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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