At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
