If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
