she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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