When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
