I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
