Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize