If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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