I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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