honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
