I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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