i don't like sucking hair
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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