Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
