i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
