You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
