ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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