that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
