why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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