I want to stick my p in your. b.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
