wake up i wanna do it froggy style
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
