I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Will you blow on my dice?
This girl is more easily done than said...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
