SEEEEXXX PLEASE
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
