I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
