I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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